The following post is not explicit, but acknowledges the existence of sex. Use your discretion.

At a recent doctor’s visit:

Doctor: Are you sexually active? Me: yes. Doctor: Are you monogamous or have multiple partners? Me: only one. With two kids, ages 2 and 4, and both of us working, do you think I have time or energy for affairs? Doctor: I know what you mean. I have three kids myself: 2, 4 and six years old. But, I have to follow the script and ask all the standard questions.

All you men and women with similar family responsibilities and who are engaged in extra-marital affairs, I really admire you for your time management skills. I wish I can learn some of that from you. Also, how do you get the energy? Is it cocaine or ecstasy? Just caffeine doesn’t do much for me any more.

You still suck for cheating on your partner unless you have an open relationship and are free to spread your love around.